When should you call a girl?

It’s Sunday night and you’re sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand. Half a dozen wrinkled pieces of paper are scattered across the table in front of you. And then, this all-too familiar voice starts echoing in your head: 

“Should I call her now? Who should I call first? What should I say? How about I send her a text message instead?”

And then you start calling them: one after the other. 

After leaving a couple of voicemails, one of the girls you chatted with on a late Friday night finally has the courtesy to pick up the phone. At last! There’s life on planet “phone number”. Unfortunately, it sounds like she’s not exactly thrilled to hear your voice. In fact, she hardly remembers you, or pretends not too. Come to think of it, maybe you were not the only one who had one too many drinks last Friday...

So you scratch her off the list and move on to the next one.

Now, there’s a reason why telesales companies hire broke students: it wears you out in no time and you start resenting customers after a couple of hours on the job. I know, I did it in my student days and quit as soon I could. 

At the end of your phone session, you feel drained and you start thinking that maybe you called at the wrong time. Or perhaps you start thinking it’s better to wait for just one more day. Then again, if you wait too long, the nagging little voice tells you, she might not remember you at all anymore.  So you head straight to your laptop to google this up. Surely, someone, somewhere, must have figured this equation out and come up with the ultimate solution.

Seriously?

No.

Gather all the dating advice available online, in books and any other source you may think of ranging from your sister to Uncle Bob: all you get is bunch of contradictory information. Even your own experience might prove confusing: you call a girl after three days and she seems delighted, the next time you apply the “three days rule” it fails miserably. 

At some point it feels like you’re just trying to beat the odds. Say you got a 30% success rate when you call back. That’s what you have so far and that’s what you keep having. 

I have been there and I hated every second of it. As a matter of fact, I had a name for that period of time between the moment I got a phone number and the moment I planned a date with a girl. I called it “the swamp”. Because every minute of indecision about whether or not this was the right time to call would get me deeper into a muddy puddle of indecision. 

So, don’t start bumping your head against the wall just now.

If there’s no solution, there’s no problem.

Or at least the problem is NOT how long you wait before calling or what you say when you’re on the phone.

Instead, go back one step and think of the interaction you had with her. Did you guys really connect? Did you make her want to see you again? 

Read part II of the article and learn the one and only thing you should know about phone game.

 

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